What is the ideal sponsor? Add your opinions in comments!
During a 1/2 day workshop on Sponsorship I asked attendees for feedback, from personal experience, of what are the desired ingredients for and "ideal" sponsor. This profile represents their response. REMEMBER = IDEAL! This person does NOT exist.
Appears to have what you want
Has a sponsor to whom they hold themselves accountable
Willing to allocate time: meet; return calls; work Steps
Has knowledge and experience with Big Book; has completed Steps
Goes to meetings; has a home group
Operates their life based on spiritual principles
Genuinely wants to be helpful
Has a positive attitude
Has a consistent, daily Prayer and Meditation practice
Listens; is patient; has common sense
Has a personal life that is attractive: relationships; work; fun
Shares experience and knowledge; not opinions
Has some humility; acknowledges limitations
Is confidential and trustworthy
Embraces anonymity: theirs and yours
Respects: does not guilt or shame
Minimizes conversations about outside issues
Willing to admit mistakes; knows their own limitations; undefended
Interested in you having your own experience; not theirs
Is inclusive; wants to be helpful; open to outside resources: medication; therapy; other professional interventions
Familiar with Traditions, Concepts and Twelve Step History
Knows the sponsor role is not:
Parent Financier Judge
Therapist/MD/Rx Teacher Hotel
Disciplinarian Employer Attorney
Is honest; non-judgmental; tolerant; patient; compassionate; encouraging; flexible
Makes suggestions, not rules/requirements/mandates
Does not protect you from consequences of your actions
Is a guide, mentor, coach, cheerleader, and an accountability partner
Is a role model: as a healthy human beingI
Sees role: to be helpful/useful; a lantern, not the light
Walks the walk!
And most of all: Enjoys their sobriety!!
Herb K. was given the gift of freedom from alcohol February 21, 1984. As a result of the application of the Twelve Steps as contained precisely in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, he experienced a profound spiritual awakening in 1988. Since then he has been very involved in carrying the message of recovery through presentations, facilitating workshops, and leading retreats.
He has authored three books to help people access the instructions and confirm the actual process contained in the Big Book for experiencing a spiritual awakening: Practicing the Here and Now: Being Intentional with Step 11 (2017), Twelve-Step Guide to Using the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book (2004) and Twelve Steps to Spiritual Awakening: Enlightenment for Everyone (2010). His books are available on Amazon and other locations.