SPONSOR: Considerations for Selection; Ingredients to a Profile

Author: Herb K.

Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

What is the ideal sponsor? Add your opinions in comments!

During a 1/2 day workshop on Sponsorship I asked attendees for feedback, from personal experience, of what are the desired ingredients for and "ideal" sponsor. This profile represents their response. REMEMBER = IDEAL! This person does NOT exist.

   Has had a spiritual awakening: a change in their thinking, feeling, and especially in their behavior
   Appears to have what you want
   Has a sponsor to whom they hold themselves accountable
   Willing to allocate time: meet; return calls; work Steps
   Has knowledge and experience with Big Book; has completed Steps
   Goes to meetings; has a home group
   Operates their life based on spiritual principles
   Genuinely wants to be helpful
   Has a positive attitude
   Has a consistent, daily Prayer and Meditation practice
   Listens; is patient; has common sense
   Has a personal life that is attractive: relationships; work; fun
   Shares experience and knowledge; not opinions
   Has some humility; acknowledges limitations
   Is confidential and trustworthy
   Embraces anonymity: theirs and yours
   Respects: does not guilt or shame
   Minimizes conversations about outside issues
   Willing to admit mistakes; knows their own limitations; undefended
   Interested in you having your own experience; not theirs
   Is inclusive; wants to be helpful; open to outside resources: medication; therapy; other professional interventions
   Familiar with Traditions, Concepts and Twelve Step History
   Knows the sponsor role is not:

                 Parent                                   Financier                                   Judge

                 Therapist/MD/Rx                Teacher                                     Hotel

                 Disciplinarian                       Employer                                 Attorney

   Is NOT an enabler; competitive; invested/attached; controlling; manipulative
   Is honest; non-judgmental; tolerant; patient; compassionate; encouraging; flexible
   Makes suggestions, not rules/requirements/mandates
   Does not protect you from consequences of your actions
   Is a guide, mentor, coach, cheerleader, and an accountability partner
   Is a role model: as a healthy human beingI
   Sees role: to be helpful/useful; a lantern, not the light
    Walks the walk!
   And most of all: Enjoys their sobriety!!

Herb K. was given the gift of freedom from alcohol February 21, 1984. As a result of the application of the Twelve Steps as contained precisely in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, he experienced a profound spiritual awakening in 1988. Since then he has been very involved in carrying the message of recovery through presentations, facilitating workshops, and leading retreats.

He has authored three books to help people access the instructions and confirm the actual process contained in the Big Book for experiencing a spiritual awakening: Practicing the Here and Now: Being Intentional with Step 11 (2017), Twelve-Step Guide to Using the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book (2004) and Twelve Steps to Spiritual Awakening: Enlightenment for Everyone (2010). His books are available on Amazon and other locations.

By | 2017-12-07T13:25:31+00:00 May 12th, 2017|AA|1 Comment

One Comment

  1. Marylin McCafferty February 12, 2018 at 12:23 pm - Reply

    Thank you, Herb. I appreciate your sharing!

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Herb K. | PO Box 4268 | Palos Verdes Peninsula, CA 90274 | herbk12@hotmail.com
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